I have been gone for most of the month of May. It is nice to return to my house, my bed and my routine. Of course, it takes a little adjustment. I’ve been spending time with grandsons and I miss their little voices, their smells and their sweet faces. If wishes were fishes – they would all live within 30 minutes of my house. But alas, they don’t, so I will visit as often as I can! (Thank goodness for technology – I can see photos or videos at a moments’ notice!)
Whenever I travel, I always feel more ambitious when I return home. I think of projects I want to do, I make lists in my head. There are things I want to write about – I wish there was a way to record my thoughts automatically as they transpire. Unfortunately, they usually occur when I am driving or doing something that prevents me from writing them down. Later, when I am at the computer, the ideas are vague, the words less than impressive – the flow is missing. It sounded so much better in my head three days ago!
I should carry a small writing journal every where I go. Maybe one of the 20-some odd journals I have lying around the house with that same thought in mind…? I am a collector of journals – most of them blank, some have a few “starter” pages. If anyone wanted to follow my life, they would have to lay them all out and go back and forth between them – they are not in chronological order. For the love of pete!
Moving on. I am glad to be home again. I have a plethora of emotional and trying things to deal with over the next few weeks. My mother has declined and we are now looking at placing her in a home. Difficult times.
We will meet with the manager of the memory care facility to discuss cost, transition and care. Eventually, we will have to actually move her. That will be a very difficult day. She doesn’t think she is living in her home right now, so I think it will be harder on us than on her. She will be confused but it won’t be much of a change – in her usual confused state. We’re losing her a little at a time and it is so hard to watch. We have to remind ourselves that this step is the best way to take care of her.
She had a good life. She is loved – somewhere in the deep recesses, I hope she knows that.