Summer

It is August. It is hot. It is smoky from regional forest fires. I love the heat – the smoke…not so much. Things are drying out and the mornings are getting darker. (Winter is coming…)

I spend my days going from project to project – walk my dog, mow the grass, pull weeds, throw in a load of laundry. In spite of how dull and tedious that may sound, I still love summer. It has always been my favorite season.

As a child, it was glorious not having to go to school and just having days of leisure. After I graduated from high school and had to start working through the summer, it was devastating. How could anyone live in those conditions?

And SO, I love retirement! Even though I have lots of yard work to do, I don’t have to sit in an office, in the freezing air conditioning – staring out the window at the sunshine. Of course, in my old age – summertime has a different connotation. I don’t float the river on an innertube. I don’t go camping or fishing. I no longer lay in the sun smelling like baby oil or coconut, rotating like a rotisserie chicken to make sure my tan is even. I don’t go to our lake house and waterski. Oh wait, I never did – we don’t have a lake house OR a boat.

My summer immersion involves sitting in the heat, on the covered porch, listening to a book. Walking along the ditch bank with Shabooz – watching her splash in and out of the water when she gets hot. Welcoming her shake of water – when I get hot. There is comfort in the warmth of the summer days. Maybe I just feel young again. Maybe it is my enchantment, my haven.

Celebration with the crone

Happy 4th of July. This used to be my dad’s favorite holiday. The parade, the rodeo, the powwow – visiting with friends and family – seeing people you don’t normally see every day. In later years, the volunteer fire department had a fundraiser breakfast every year. He enjoyed every moment of the day, each and every 4th of July. I will always miss him the most on this day.

My celebration will be very different. I plan to go for a walk with Shaboozy Dumpster, mow my yard and try out my new weedeater. Maybe shovel a little dirt and spread some grass seed, pull a few weeds. I used to attend all the same functions that my dad enjoyed (I live in my hometown) but this year, I just don’t have it in me to go. The crone is staying home.

It is sad/frustrating to me that MAGA and our Commander in Cheat have hijacked patriotism and the american flag. We aren’t flying our flag today for that reason. It just doesn’t represent the same thing it used to. With any luck, this will only be a moment in time. One day it will stand for true freedom for all once again – not blind dominance and perceived supremacy but respect, dignity, generosity and compassion. We can hope.

I often ruminate over “how” a person could follow and support such a man. It is baffling to me. Maybe “they” are baffled by why I don’t? Here’s why: I believe in women’s rights. I believe in safety for all. I believe everyone deserves an opportunity to succeed. I believe we are a country of immigrants. None of us would be here if that door hadn’t been open to us. I believe in separation of church and state. I believe in releasing the Epstein files and prosecuting the perpetrators. I believe in helping people who can’t afford medical care, food and shelter. I have children and grandchildren. I want them to have the freedom of choice and opportunity for success/happiness. I want them to have the best life they can. I believe this president is a con-man, a fraudster and a predator; certainly not a christian or a true leader. (From the urban dictionary: trumpadocious – To lie about something to make it seem more important or better than it actually is.)

It is hard to celebrate independence, when it doesn’t feel like we are very independent. Maybe if we became independent thinkers… (“Independent thought involves thinking freely, assessing information critically, and making decisions based on logic and reasoning rather than societal norms, peer pressure, or authority figures. It emphasizes self-reliance, curiosity, and the willingness to challenge established ideas. This mindset allows individuals to recognize bias, avoid misinformation, and develop original perspectives, contributing to personal growth and a culture of innovation. In a society prone to conformity, independent thinkers are more likely to identify flawed assumptions, challenge stereotypes, and maintain intellectual integrity.” theconductsoflife.com )

The old crone – checking in

It has been a minute since I’ve written. Writer’s block? No inspiration? Busy? Cranky? All of the above. I’ve started numerous blog posts only to give up and delete after a paragraph or long-winded sentence. Just not feeling it.

The seasons are melting into one another. It is time to irrigate, mow, pull weeds, repeat. Since I last wrote, I’ve gone on a cruise to Bermuda in April. It was a celebration of our 40th wedding anniversary (which is actually in July). We traveled with our usual cruise partners – had a good time. My only real complaint is that it wasn’t as warm as previous cruises to the Caribbean – which for me, the whole point of cruising is going to a very warm climate and enjoying the sun! But we got to see new places that we haven’t seen before (Bermuda, Charleston, SC and Philadelphia).

We’ve also been watching our youngest grandson, Miles, on Monday and Friday. I’ve read lots of articles about how being a grandparent and taking care of your grandchildren will help keep you active and “young-ish”. For sure, grandkids are a lot of fun. I don’t know about the young-ish part, mostly it is fun AND exhausting. But this is my favorite age – when they start talking/walking and always laughing. I find myself napping when he naps – just so I can keep up!

And then there is Shaboozy Dumpster. I try to walk her every day. She will be a year old next week. Still a puppy and still not good at “recall”. When I adopted her, the shelter speculated (based on the coloring of the litter) that the pups were border collie crosses. I am fairly certain that she is mostly doberman. Her markings and her behavior are more doberman-like. However, she is still a scaredy-cat. She is petrified of cows, deer and strangers – and my husband. I don’t feature her protecting me from anything – except maybe birds. We crossed paths with a black bear the other day and she didn’t see it or smell it. But she is very playful and pretty. Other than inconsistent “recall” and not being very protective, she is a good girl. She loves to run and is quite fast. And she is great company for me – gets all my jokes and is such a treasure.

The weather has been beautiful and I’ve been getting a lot of yardwork done. Still have a very full project list… This summer we will celebrate our 40th anniversary in July, Gregg’s 60th class reunion and my 50th class reunion. Time does march on…

Believe the women

It is difficult not to lose sleep over the state of this country. It is like living in a henhouse where a fox has found the code to the door. He keeps coming in at all odd hours and you never know when you need to duck and cover. First he took the eggs, then he took all the chickens that were losing their feathers or were not good lay-ers or clucked too much. Then he started limiting the food so the hens wouldn’t get so fat (how unseemly). The roosters, with their sharp spurs, just sit in the corner hoarding their food and taking advantage of the hens at the fox’s goading. The hens are clucking, flapping their wings, pushing back in every way they can…

Believe the women

There are millions of documents in the Epstein file. Women have come forward in real-time and provided heartrending testimony. (Imagine if one of those women was your mother, sister, wife, daughter. Would you be as apt to ignore the testimony?) Names have been named even though there are so many redactions. It is apparent – obvious – definite – certain – plain as the nose on your face that Trump was an active participant and YET nothing is happening. The fox continues to disrupt the henhouse with his cowardly roosters and skinny hens.

Believe the women

The SAVE America act is going before the senate soon. Supposedly, this is a bill that will prevent voter fraud by making sure people are “eligible” to vote (no immigrant voting!). Even though that type of voter “fraud” is practically non-existent. However, with this bill everyone will need to provide “documentary” proof of U.S. citizenship. This will affect women, people of color and lower income citizens who may or may not have a passport, a birth certificate, marriage/divorce paperwork, etc. etc. (Here’s the big glitch: women who have married and taken their husband’s surname will need documentation to match their birth name!) Not only will it be costly to obtain these documents, they are difficult to obtain in a timely manner – thus preventing a significant population from being able to vote. Next, we will be locking the hen’s in the coop and requiring a quota of eggs and baby chicks per year.

Believe the women

There have been unwarranted deaths in this presidency. Deaths involving supposed drug cartels or “terrorists” protesting. I’ve seen the videos. There is no justification for the murders. The media is being censored, propaganda abounds. How did we get HERE? Next up, iPhones will be outlawed…or your video capabilities and videos will no longer be proprietary. They can be commandeered or blocked by the wily fox and his cohort of tech-y roosters.

Believe the women

America is a country of immigrants, always has been. The country was taken from the Indians by force and built by slaves. “American” food or culture is what has been adapted along the way from all the immigrants who have come before us. Every region, while speaking “English” has a different accent – evolved from our immigrant ancestors. And it was the women who kept this country going while the men controlled the money, took the credit and forced them into submission. One day, the fox will find the coop empty. No roosters, no eggs, no hens. Will he move on to another coop? Or will the door slam and trap him inside? (A cell of his own making).

Believe the women

The old crone’s computer guide

Chapter One: %&$**@#@&%#$!!*

Back in the day, when I was younger and worked with computers every day – I could (usually) figure things out. All the little idiosyncrasies of a program — I would play around until I discovered a resolution. Now, at the ripe old age of 67, I just swear a lot. All those little things that came to me so readily are just free floating and don’t make any sense. I cannot express how frustrating that is – it feels like a door has just closed. WTH? If I am able to figure anything out it is usually by accident and I can’t even remember which key I selected or replicate the sequence of actions I made!

This came to the forefront a couple of weeks ago when I couldn’t sign in to this program to write my blog. I tried everything – over and over – on every device. Nothing worked. I finally had to involve IT (my husband). It was determined that I needed to replace my computer. (HORRORS!)

Fast forward to this morning. I am up and running. Just barely. So many “personalization” possibilities. Different colors, different programs, fonts, files, shortcuts. I am that little old lady calling the help line and getting some 10 year old who will ask if I have turned the computer on? Hard to admit…

More soon – hopefully.

The traveling crone

The holidays are over. It is a brand new year. When you are a crone, the new year has a different connotation. Instead of having all kinds of resolutions and hopes for change in the coming year, you have aspirations of finishing out the year still vertical and on this side of the dirt. Morbid, I know, but these are the thoughts that are at the forefront when you reach a “certain age”.

I started 2026 with a glorious trip to Dublin, Ireland! January is not an ideal month to visit Ireland but the opportunity presented itself and I was happy to partake. What a wonderful adventure! My grandson, Ollie, and I flew over on January 6 – redeye flight out of Chicago. (My first trip to Chicago, even if it was only the airport). Very long flight, and this crone is a side sleeper and cannot sleep on a plane. I took a couple of catnaps and woke myself snoring or with a kink from an awkward folded position. As we landed on the morning of the 7th, we were excited to begin our week of sight-seeing. The majority of the uber ride to the hotel was through a long tunnel so we didn’t see much other than concrete walls.

My daughter-in-law, Chelsea, met us at her hotel (the Continental – luxury hotel, quite fancy). And then she had to return to work down the block, so we went to my hotel – The Clayton – just across the street. Not luxury – no spa or pool – but very nice just the same.

We were staying in Ballsbridge, which is where Chelsea was working (The Stripe Young Scientist and Tech Exhibition). There are a number of embassies in Ballsbridge and quite a few beautiful brick homes and row houses. Coffee houses and pubs on every corner. Just grand.

Each day, while Chelsea worked, Ollie and I would venture into the Dublin City Centre. The weather was chilly (January and February are the coldest months in Ireland) usually around 40°-48°F but it is a wet cold, even if it isn’t raining. Chills you to the bone.

Here is a brief overview of our sightseeing: Our first tour was the hop on hop off bus tour. We were the only two on the bus for most of the ride. We hopped off at the Dublin Castle, took the guided tour. Very interesting and a beautiful building. The Chapel was gorgeous. Then off to Christ Church with Crypt in the basement. Another amazing building, phenomenal stone and wood work. Bought souvenirs there. Crossed the street to the Dublinia museum (Viking museum). Had lunch at an irish pub, did a little shopping, bought more souvenirs then took an uber home. Day two: Tour of Wicklow waterfall and Glendalough – two lakes with boardwalk trail and an old cemetery in between. Ate at food truck, walked the boardwalk and had snacks to try to warm up. On the way back, stopped at a sheep farm for the sheepdog demonstration. (The highlight of the trip). The farmer was a very affable young man and the dog was brilliant. Deadly and grand. Day three: took the train into the city centre then walked a mile to our tour of St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Dublin Castle, Trinity College and the Book of Kells. This was a walking tour and we spent 3 of the 4 hours outside. It was sunny but NOT warm – our guide was very knowledgeable and full of little fun facts but by the time we got to the book of Kells, we were freezing and starving. We stopped off at a pub and had a nice hot meal, then headed back to the hotel. Day four: Chelsea was finished with work, so she and Ollie had a day and I wandered the streets of Ballsbridge looking at the beautiful homes and embassies in the area. In the evening, we went to the dinner and dance demonstration. The dancers were amazing the band played lovely Irish tunes. Day five: the three of us went to the Cliffs of Mohrer, a ride down the coast and a stop in Galway. I bought an Irish wool sweater and we meandered around sight-seeing, had lunch/dinner. We returned to the hotel and off to bed – having to get up early for our flights home. After long flights home – unfortunately Chelsea was on a different flight – we arrived home safely and without any delays or issues with our flights. She arrived about 1/2 an hour ahead of us.

My review of the trip? 5 out of 5. We had no trouble with flights or ubers – and thanks to google maps we never got lost. The weather was cold but we were prepared, layered up and had good footwear. My grandson (10) is a great traveling partner, he is game for anything and he doesn’t complain, even if he is bored. We have similar palates, so eating was easy (pub food was perfect!). We got to spend time with his mom in the evenings, going to dinner and visiting.

If I ever go again or if someone asks me for advice about traveling to Ireland – I would stayin a hotel in the City centre. The majority of the historical sites are there, as are the meeting sites for the tours. You will have to pay more for the hotel but that will be balanced by not having to take an uber/taxi, to and from the suburbs each day. (Of course, because Chelsea was working, we stayed near her hotel/work out of necessity).

I am so grateful to Chelsea for offering this opportunity for me to take this amazing trip with Ollie as my “buddy” companion. It was great to spend time with her as well. And thank you Ollie, you’re just grand. Stay deadly.

The Crones Guide to Life (Christmas Edition)

Ah, the holiday season. Christmas music, lights, decorations, traditional shows to watch (Grinch, Klaus, While You Were Sleeping, Love Actually, Home Alone, etc etc), cookie decorating, cards and letters…and plenty of reels about moms exhaustively over-preparing and oblivious dads shopping at the corner store on Christmas eve. Funny – NOT funny – but true.

Here is my contribution to the satire, written in the Crone’s voice, the angry voice, the voice of experience, the tired, frustrated voice. **Mom’s you may want to print this and put it on the fridge.

Dear Dads, Husbands, Men of all colors and creeds: Before going to bed tonight, after the kids are tucked in and you are turning off the TV or shutting down your phone apps; Stop, Look and Listen. Is there a beautiful tree, decorated with love and joy with multiple colorful gifts beneath it? Are there Christmas stockings for each family member? Is there Christmas cookies on the counter or fudge in the fridge? Is everything all warm, cozy and festive? Now pause. Really think. Ask yourself: who did this? How much of this festivity have you participated in? How many of the gifts under the tree did you purchase and wrap? Or even think about WHAT to give each child or family member? Now sit down in a comfortable place. Relax and ponder. Are any of the gifts under the tree for mom? Will mom’s stocking be full on Christmas morning? Take a deep breath in, then blow it out slowly. Now…get up off your lazy ass and make a plan.

You need to teach your children that the magic of Christmas didn’t just materialize out of thin air. The mom’s of the world put it together for their family and KEEP it together FOR THEIR FAMILY. Take your kids out and have each of them pick out a Christmas present for their mom. You are going to have to help them – especially if this is the first time you’ve participated. (And make certain the gift isn’t a cleaning product or gadget). What does mom like? (Do YOU know?) Is she into fitness? Does she like clothes? Does she like warm fuzzy pants and socks? Does she like to go to the movies? Does she like coffee from Starbucks? Does she like jewelry? Does she need a new water bottle? Would she like a massage? A pedicure? Gift cards for any of the above work — mom’s rarely spend money on themselves — have you noticed? The important thing here is to THINK about mom – to realize that she is like an app that is constantly working in the background — 24-7, year round. Keeping things moving forward as smoothly as possible.

Now, as your are making this plan – make an additional plan to FOLLOW-THROUGH. Next year, start earlier, make this YOUR tradition. Mom also has a birthday. And there is Mother’s Day. Remember the message here is that mom is not just a pretty face and hard worker – she is the hub. You are teaching your children that everyone should participate in the family structure. More importantly, that it isn’t just the mom who maintains the traditions and rituals of the family. Everyone has the capacity to bring the magic.

Next edition of The Crones Guide to Life: Pay attention! When is the last time you dusted? Or swept/vacuumed? Cleaned a toilet? Wiped a bathroom counter? Mopped? Have you ever?

Light

Do you remember Amanda Gorman? I had to look up her name but I remember her voice. I didn’t remember the actual words of her poem but I remembered how it made me feel.

Amanda Gorman was the poet who spoke at Joe Biden’s Inauguration. “The Hill We Climb” was the title of the poem and it was VERY uplifting. It made me feel hopeful and secure in the prospect of a true leader at the helm. Even though her words had no true impact on the actual situation in our country – it made me feel more optimistic than I had for a very long time.

“When day comes, we step out of the shade, aflame and unafraid.
The new dawn blooms as we free it.
For there is always light,
if only we’re brave enough to see it.
If only we’re brave enough to be it.”

I thought of her words this morning when I was thinking about how disheartening and frightening everything feels right now. Everyday when I read the new headlines I think, “How much longer will this go on?” or “Isn’t there anything that can be done or anyone who can do it?” What the actual hell?

I think of this often, I write about it often. I wish for change. I’m appalled that there are still people who support this idiocracy. “In the future, intelligence is extinct”. It is hard not to panic.

IS there always light? Are we brave enough to be it?

Keep it moving

And now it is November. Daylight savings. Holidays racing towards us at full speed. The end of the year looms. In many ways, it has been a year on a downward spiral. So much of our feelings of safety and security are pretty wobbly right now. It seems every day brings a new dawning of disbelief. “How is this happening?” And when will it end?

As I write this, Shaboozy Dumpster (the great and wonderful dog) is lying behind me whining for a piece of cheese. I am training her to “settle”. I ignore her until she lies down – a small piece of string cheese is her reward. Then, as long as she is quiet and still (settled), she gets a reward periodically. Eventually, she will settle without the reward. That’s the plan… The point is, and I do have one, are we being trained to lie quietly and wait for our reward? A reward that won’t come but we’ll lie there and be ignored anyway?

Consider the many different points in our history where things have been similar (yes, history repeats itself) — the revolutionary war, the civil war, women’s rights, civil rights, etc etc — everything felt scary and apocalyptic. But half of the country didn’t know what was happening until days, weeks or months later, when the news finally arrived via word of mouth, newspaper or tv news report. The biggest difference now is that with technology, we have more information coming at us moment to moment. However, as with past generations, we only know what we are being told and if there will be any reaction on our part (i.e. hysteria) that is also moment to moment, not weeks later after everything is over. We are in a frenzy of “their” making. Don’t fall for it. Yes, we need to remain aware. Yes, we need to participate in speaking out, voting, writing letters and making calls to our representatives (no matter how useless that may feel). It can feel hopeless and disheartening.

And yet life goes on in every little corner. Babies are born, kids play soccer, people go to the gym, covid surges, we laugh, we cry. People live, people die, people are gluttons, people are hungry, people get promotions, people lose jobs. We are all losing something everyday. What shall we do?

We can protest, boycott, be watchful, listen, vote. Look for the good but be prepared to stand up for the just. Keep life going in your corner. Teach the important lessons to your children. Be kind. Be as generous as possible. Talk and listen. Eat your vegetables even if they are from a can. Hunker down and take care of the day to day. A change is coming – it always does.

Update – Shaboozy Dumpster

I have to keep reminding myself, I asked for this — I wanted this — for years I have been longing for a dog of my own. Those of you who have trained a puppy know that it is a lot of work. Just about the time you think the dog is “getting it”, they pee on the floor. Or sit on the porch staring at you when you call them as if you’ve never called them before and they have no idea WHO you are. COME means absolutely nothing. NO is just encouragement to play harder.

She still eats deer poop. And LEAVE IT just means eat it faster before mom gets here… She had several days of diarrhea (no surprise there) and that meant cleaning up the kennel and airing out the house several days in a row.

She has graduated from puppy kindergarten. Now on to “Companion Manners” class. I have been able to teach her some good things – lessons I learned from dog trainers on youtube. I have started to take her on walks with me — it takes quite a bit of effort to get her to walk past the scary mailboxes, horrifying horses, raucous cows and frightening people we see on the road. Not to mention if we come upon another dog! I don’t think she is going to be a guard dog. I have yet to hear her bark. (Which is honestly okay, I won’t have to train her to stop barking!)

Yesterday was our first trip to our vet. Found out that Shaboozy is 7 lbs overweight. All those training treats! (Side note: the vet looked like she was still in high school! She was very nice and was impressed with how well Shaboozy behaved!) She also didn’t see any hint of border collie, said she just looks like a Heinz 57 breed. But she is a very pretty girl.

Even though I wear myself out “overthinking” the training process and even though I’ve lost a lot of my leisure time because I am making sure she is fed, trained and exercised, I do enjoy having her and I’m proud of our progress so far.